Friday, January 30, 2009

time management...

i have yet to master.
my thoughts overcome me, i wonder how i will juggle it all.
there are mornings with nursing, clothes, hair, diaper changing 1-3 times, teeth, nourishment and school.
there are mid-mornings and afternoons filled with feedings, meal planing, crying, laundry, picking up the house, doctor visits, sister time, diapers, grocery shopping, dishes, organizing, walking, some how fitting lunch, pick up time, homework time, gymnastics time, dinner time, bath time x 3, reading time, tuck-her-in time, all while taking care of an infant new to this world and keeping in mind my goal of being super wife/mom/friend/daughter/sister/designer
what the hell.
how do i keep from getting overwhelmed?

its all worth it.
i just need to get used to this new layer of skin.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It Helps Keep Her Numb

She was flawless at forgetting, she learned to put those memories away.
When they were little ladies, she erased who was she just to raise them in a perfect circle.
Early on, she composed her plan, she referred to as “Eighteen”.
The plan came early due to her lack of refrain.
They were the jaguars, while the rest played the tortoise.
There was mindlessness and selfishness and thoughtlessness.
The woman, who once existed for the two, walked away one step a day.
Time elapsed. She plus him were not perfection.
Obstacles went unnoticed. The dusty old ways became all too familiar.
Continual work and no play helps keep her numb.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

i thought i was proud.
when a week passed and i had not visited.
when i created solitude.
when i re-directed my goals.

yet when this was achieved, i felt unfulfilled.
i continued to misdirect my desires. my needs.

my storybook view of how my life should be....
i thought i was never going to walk through that door.
i began to believe that was never going to be my fairy tale ending.

some time in between dinners and chaotic introductions,
i have been sprinkled with pixie dust.
the story has not only come alive,
but read hidden pages.
pages that force me to speechlessness at each waking of the sun in my existence.

my activity from rise to rest is healthy, concious, and moral.
i am living a dream.
i am living a high.
i heart my companion.