It Helps Keep Her Numb

She was flawless at forgetting, she learned to put those memories away.
When they were little ladies, she erased who was she just to raise them in a perfect circle.
Early on, she composed her plan, she referred to as “Eighteen”.
The plan came early due to her lack of refrain.
They were the jaguars, while the rest played the tortoise.
There was mindlessness and selfishness and thoughtlessness.
The woman, who once existed for the two, walked away one step a day.
Time elapsed. She plus him were not perfection.
Obstacles went unnoticed. The dusty old ways became all too familiar.
Continual work and no play helps keep her numb.

i thought i was proud.
when a week passed and i had not visited.
when i created solitude.
when i re-directed my goals.

yet when this was achieved, i felt unfulfilled.
i continued to misdirect my desires. my needs.

my storybook view of how my life should be....
i thought i was never going to walk through that door.
i began to believe that was never going to be my fairy tale ending.

some time in between dinners and chaotic introductions,
i have been sprinkled with pixie dust.
the story has not only come alive,
but read hidden pages.
pages that force me to speechlessness at each waking of the sun in my existence.

my activity from rise to rest is healthy, concious, and moral.
i am living a dream.
i am living a high.
i heart my companion.